Father Joseph Noonan, OFM
Renewing the Soul
A new year brings with it goals, hopes and promises. Depending upon one’s position will depend on which of these is important in your life.
For a Catholic parent, it is a good time for reflection. A reflection which should begin with yourself. This reflection needs not question all your decisions and judgments. That could be quite destructive and unnecessary unless a parent has a history of continuously making wrong or bad decisions. It probably, though, should be a time for reflecting on how to be a better parent. A parent should never be so arrogant as to think he or she always makes correct decisions. It is understood that good parents always want to make good decisions. Human frailty or emotional sentiment, though, often gets in the way of an objective judgment.
How often do you as a parent pray before making a big decision, calling upon the Holy Ghost for wisdom and guidance? No one should think he is able to “do it all alone” which is usually a sign of stubborn pride. This pride will produce more wrong decisions that one may want to admit.
Young serious parents usually spend their early years trying to understand how to conduct themselves in a marriage. Once the first child is born, parents will spend time learning how to raise a child in all necessary things needed for a newborn. One assumes that adjustments or changes are made when a second or third child is born. They learn what was done correctly and those which were not.
Parents usually learn early that children can be quite different. There may be many physical similarities, but personalities are often different. Parents are often called upon to raise children differently because of their temperaments.
What do these things mean for a parent? The first consideration should be the spiritual state of their soul. If a parent strives to attend Mass each Sunday and receives the Sacraments regularly, he is better equipped to live a good Catholic life. An essential part of Catholic life in the home is a solid daily prayer life which includes both parents and children. If these things are present, the soul is provided with numerous graces to better lead the family. Vocal leadership and good example are essential when a parent has the express desire to raise their children as good Catholics.
Men, too often leave teaching the Faith to their wives. This is a serious mistake, for he is the one who is responsible first before God. The parents may share these duties but to simply walk away from this responsibility is wrong. Mistakes such as this are usually an indication of a soul which is not in the state of grace. External behavior is a display of the soul’s condition.
Laziness or selfishness may also be reasons for the lack of responsibility. Depending upon the severity of these faults, they may vary from a slight annoyance to severely affecting a marriage.
Married men would do well to take the time to make a good examination of conscience each night. They should examine their workday but more importantly consider the responsibilities and duties of married life and family.
An underlying problem which has caused serious marital problems occurs when men give away their authority or allow it to be taken from them. This disorder causes chaos in the family. Each parent has a role in family life. When they understand their proper role and place, peace will largely prevail. In practice, there is no such thing as the perfect marriage or family. There are families, though, which live to a great extent a peaceful life. Parents are to be commended who are able to have a peaceful environment in the home. This situation does not take place on its own but is the result of the decisions and good judgment of the parents.
Children usually spend more time with their mother. This means that the influence of mothers is usually greater at a young age. The love of the mother often has a lasting effect upon a child, assuming it is a positive relationship.
Mothers are usually the ones who teach the children to speak and do many things for the first time. Serious mothers will teach their children to begin to pray in the simplest ways for the first time. She should also be the first one to discipline the children when they are misbehaving.
They are called upon to do many tasks which are necessary but not very exciting. A few tasks include cleaning, cooking, washing dishes and doing the laundry. I wonder how many women make use of these repetitive tasks to sanctify their day. This is an excellent example of making use of the smallest things in life and using them as steppingstones to holiness. In other words, transforming those things which are quite often thought of in a negative way and making them something which will elevate your soul above the mundane. This relates in a very real way to the morning offering prayer which reminds one to offer up all our thoughts, words and deeds as a single prayer and uniting this prayer with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass being offered up by a True Catholic priest each day.
One is reminded of two points in the life of parents. The daily life of parents in today’s world is quite busy. This provides them with the opportunity to sanctify each day while fulfilling their responsibilities and duties in a way which is different from other vocations. Catholic parents are called upon to raise their children to be saints. This is quite different from other parents who never elevate the minds of their children above the natural sphere. Catholic parents must lead their children by example into the realm of the supernatural holiness. The challenge for most Catholic parents is they must first accomplish this for themselves. Most unfortunately fail through human frailty or attachments.
The second point involves making use of the graces of the Sacrament of Matrimony. These graces are meant to sustain the married person through the course of his or her life. Married life brings with it crosses which are specific to married life. That cross is sufficient for salvation if one makes use of it each day. Too often the individual makes the cross much heavier because of poor judgments and bad decisions.
How often do married adults pray for the sustaining graces of the Sacrament of Matrimony to help them each day, but especially during the most difficult times of life? This simple request can be a means through which a soul is renewed and strengthened.
Parents are the most influential people in the world. Most fail to understand their important role. Their most important responsibility is the soul of each child they bring into this world. They need to think in terms of raising saints not simply another person who will be like everyone else.
Make use of the means which Holy Mother Church provides through which a soul is able to be renewed. You will have all of the graces necessary for your own sanctification and those of your children. Thank God each day for the blessings of children and family.