Father Joseph Noonan, OFM
The Need for Prayer
It is clearly understood that the life of parents is filled with responsibility. The two main areas of responsibility are spiritual and temporal. The temporal responsibilities are clear to most parents, i.e., food, clothing, shelter and education.
The spiritual duties and responsibilities have proven to be quite a stumbling block to most parents. Today this would include Catholic parents however one wishes to categorize them. The academic Catholic education is understood by serious parents. This is the formal education of the catechism and religion texts for Catholic students through at the high school years.
The most notable failure of parents involves the spiritual life or the prayer life as most would look at it. It was once assumed that Catholic children learned the most basic prayers before they received their First Holy Communion. In the years which followed, through high school several other prayers were taught and hopefully learned.
It is here where the neglect surfaces. It is one thing to teach children to memorize prayers, but quite another to have them to love to pray. Is one able to effectively able to teach children to love to pray? One may be able to vocalize in a catechism lesson, but will this encouragement be enough? It is quite doubtful. What, then, is necessary?
Experience in the spiritual life provides a parent with the answer to this all-important question. The parents must love to pray and be a good example to their children. A parent’s love of prayer cannot effectively begin with the birth of the first child. When parents make this mistake, they minimize the need for prayer.
Ideally, a Catholic parent will grow up loving to pray. This sadly is not a common occurrence. One would hope when the dating years begin, both men and women would pray to find a good Catholic spouse. How many men or women pray with those whom they are dating? If this prayer is regular, you will find out quickly if the person you are dating is the one you wish to marry.
This approach to marriage will provide you with many answers as to whom you are dating. Is this person willing to pray with you? Is he simply doing it to please you, only to stop praying after you marry?
How many couples pray together as the wedding approaches? Catholic couples are required to go to Confession a day or two before marrying. How many considered praying a Rosary together after confessing their sins or was the “priority” a dinner the night before? Weddings are filled with distractions, but how many maintain a proper focus on the sacramental reality before them? One learns much about couples when you observe their “priorities” in these situations.
How many couples make it a priority from their wedding day to pray together each day? How many couples think little or not at all about their need to pray after having vowed to God to live as husband and wife “until death do they part?”
One may try to fake holiness or a true spirituality, but unless one is going through a conversion, it won’t last long. The truth is that the heart and the soul must be spiritually joined if you desire to love to pray and pray to love.
Many have succeeded in obtaining a worthy spirituality in married life. One cannot be satisfied with mediocrity or status quo and expect to raise one’s children to go to Heaven.
This points to a basic Catholic question when raising children. Are you more concerned with their temporal welfare or their eternal salvation? Far too many parents believe they have fulfilled their duty as Catholic parents by sending their children to Catholic schools, what is the home life like?
Are you as a Catholic parent spending time each day praying together as a family? Are you spending time alone or with your spouse praying for your marriage and family? Are you giving a good example to your children by receiving the Sacraments regularly. Regularly here means at least once or twice a month. Children will follow the example of parents regardless of their words. Too often children will follow the example of the “weaker link.” Parents need to be fully aware of this and do all to overcome being a “weak link.”
Speaking plainly, if the family does not pray together and the parents do not receive the Sacraments regularly, your children will likely be poor Catholics and may leave the Church entirely. Do not expect your children to be better than you if you are giving a poor or bad example as a Catholic parent. Good example is everything when it comes to raising children.
Parents are reminded here of their vocation and the graces which are available from having received the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony. These graces are present once having taken the sacred vows until your death or that of your spouse.
Prayer ought to be at the center of Catholic Life. It should come easily and often. Many are familiar with the example of how one needs to eat each day to feed the body. If you do not eat, the body will be harmed and eventually die. The same may be said of the soul. One needs to feed the soul each day, also. The two main sources of grace are the Sacraments and prayer. Since the Sacraments are not usually received daily, prayer must be the principle means of spiritual nourishment.
Spiritual Communions are truly priceless, considering one may make these numerous times each day. One should not underestimate the graces and spiritual value of these intimate spiritual moments with Our Lord. Depending upon the person and his disposition, one may receive as many graces if not more, than one who receives sacramentally but whose disposition is less than ideal.
God requires much from parents. This is understandable considering the influence parents will have on their children and consequently on the world. If you want to know how well or poorly children have been raised, observe the children. They are a reflection of the parents. There are exceptions, but generally this is a trustworthy principle.
Parents are encouraged to establish a Catholic environment in their homes. A Catholic home ought to be a place of prayer and peace. If this means that many changes must take place, then do not hesitate to make these changes quickly. The devil will do everything possible to discourage you. Have the humility to admit mistakes one has made.
If your family has been praying together, you are to be commended for fulfilling this responsibility. You must now continue to lead the family in prayer each day. Please be aware that the devil will create “distractions” which seem real but are not. Learn to recognize those things which are nothing more than empty distractions or poor excuses for not praying.
Spiritual priorities are most important in family life. The salvation of each family member is at stake. As parents, you must properly understand that God has given you children for a short time. It is up to you to make the best possible use of this time. Use a part of each day for reflection and prayer, for yourself, your spouse and your children. Do not be afraid to live in a Catholic home where each member is serious about their salvation.
Pray each day to the Blessed Mother and Saint Joseph for intercession and guidance!